Я еще и оригинал нашел, с чего все это началось.

Reconstructed by Matthew Crosby and alt.fan.pratchett

from the Discworld novels by Terry Pratchett

—-

Bestiality sure is a fun thing to do

But I have to say this as a warning to you:

With almost all animals, you can have ball

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 1: The spines on his back are too sharp for a man

They’ll give you a pain in the worst place they can

The result I think you’ll find will appall:

The hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Mounting a horse can often be fun

An elephant too; though he weighs half a ton

Even a mouse (though his hole is quite small)

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 2: The spines on his back are so awful thick

you’ll end up with naught but a painful prick.

He has an impregnable hole when curled up in a ball,

Hence the hedgehog can never be buggered at all!

Screwing a cow while she goes moo-moo

Will be entertaining to both her and you

Or you might try a tiger, if you have enough gall

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS 3: (So here’s to the hedgehog, he’s sharp as they come

You’ll never get through his impregnable bum

With his nose up his arsehole and rolled in a ball

The hedgehog can never be buggered at all)

CHORUS

A fish is refreshing, although a bit wet

And a cat or a dog can be more than a pet

Even a giraffe (despite being so tall)

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You can manage a snake, though its poison might kill

It’s amazing how humping a camel will thrill

You can go with a snail if you slow to a crawl

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You can ravish a sloth but it would take all night

With a shark it is faster, but the darned beast might bite

We already mentioned the horse, you may recall

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You can roger a skunk if you can stand the smell

Or even an oyster, should he let go of his shell

A troll can be rocky if down you should fall

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

For slippery fun, you can cornhole an otter

Or pego a pig after parting his trotters

Or tumble a tapir, though the prospect appall

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

For prosimian fun, you can bugger a lemur

To bolster your name as a pervert and schemer

The lemurs cry “Frink!” as a coy mating call

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

Antipodean pranks — you can futter a wombat

Or strive with a ‘roo in venereal combat

Or hump a goanna — go on, do it all

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

A moose is amusing, a squid quite confusing

Or try on a rhino if you fancy a bruising,

Or mountin’ a mountain goat (careful, don’t fall!)

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You could thrust with a thrush if you fancy a climb,

Or pork a few piglets if you have the time,

A skinhead’s pet cat if you don’t mind a brawl,

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

A sheep that’s named ‘Flossy’ is warm you shall see,

You can try with a wasp, you can try with a bee.

You can hump with the dog that sleeps in the hall,

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

A lion is frisky, a leopard is fun,

But to keep up with them you may have to run.

You’ll be liked by the fleas at the flea-market stall,

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

A hippo is funny but take care if underneath,

A pirhana is pleasant but watch out for his teeth.

Get a rodent, they can be found in the mall,

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You tail-lifting buggers from Ramtop or plain

If you take my advice you will save yourself pain

When the base urges strike you it’s best to recall

That the hedgehog can never be buggered at all

CHORUS

Your hedgehog’s a handful and cute as a bun

You’d think he’d be perfect for animal fun

But hatpin-like pubic hairs prove to us all

That the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You can top a giraffe if you stand on a stool

Though a Jack Russell might make you look like a fool

But the fact still remains that if you want to ball

The hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

You can hump a baboon if it doesn’t hump you

And a wildebeest’s really got something quite gnu

Carouse with a louse if your weenie is small

But the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

CHORUS

It’s hard with a crab ’cause its bum’s watertight

The best way is sideways, then twist to the right

If you screw one, be thankful as shorewards you crawl

For the hedgehog can never be buggered at all.

————————————————-

This is the alt.fan.pratchett version of the Hedgehog Song. The

original version was thought up by Matthew Crosby, and has since

then been streamlined and expanded by readers of the newsgroup.

If you have any suggestions for improvements or additional verses,

please feel free to post them to alt.fan.pratchett, or mail them

to Matthew Crosby ([email protected]) or Leo Breebaart

([email protected]).

Note from Matthew: “BTW, I know the giraffe verse in the book is

`if you stand on a stool’, but this doesn’t really rhyme. I’ve

tried to insert all the other scraps Pterry has given us… if I

missed any, let me know.”

гы)))) впердолить ежу)))))))) это ж почти кусабная тема

Бонус!

UGGY Э? Где в Кусаби был Ежик?

Remi Lark Ну, собираем коллекцию! Осталось найти английский вариант.

Jutacu тебя вдруг на Пратчетта потянуло?

Jutacu не объяснить... .... ... почему-то так с ассоциировалось сегодня...

Remi Lark Я сначала просто нашел песню про ежика, а потом заинтересовало.

UGGY ассоциации - они всякие бывають)

Jutacu это любимая песенка нянюшки Ягг

Remi Lark Это кто?

Jutacu ооооо! Это восхитительнейший персонаж многих произведений Терри Пратчетта. Ведьма, матриарх многочисленного семейства и просто знойная женщина

Remi Lark Ага! И у нее это любимая песенка (в английском варианте). Понимаю! Прикольно! Надо почитать непременно.

Jutacu цикл про ведьм почитай. Он восхитителен!

Remi Lark Спасибо!

))

И у нее это любимая песенка (в английском варианте)
Нет. То есть да, но сама песня в текстах не фигурирует - только одна строчка. Всё остальное досочинили позже.

Таррелонд-Эш )) ага, народный вариант того, на что намекнул автор

Спасибо!!!))))) особенно за английский текст! (Пратчетта я не читала, поэтому не в курсе...)

Таррелонд-Эш И правильно сделали, что досочинили. Классно вышло! Очень здорово!
Я и пишу, что народное творчество. Правда, мне думалось, что это наши сочиняли помаленьку, а Пратчетт написал английский вариант целиком, но теперь буду знать!

Remi Lark народу только намекни, особенно нашим.

Iris Lloyd Troy И для меня это знание было новым.. а сегодня хожу и напеваю...

Jutacu оно так хорошо запоминается!

Remi Lark Ага... и новое тож придумывается...

Jutacu ну да ))
Я учу песню целиком, потому что будет кабинетка, и я там буду нянюшкой Ягг ))

Remi Lark Такую песню не везде споешь)))

Jutacu ну так атмосфера будет соответствующая

Remi Lark Тогда грех не спеть!

"Можно трахнуть медведя суровой зимой..."

Remi Lark Когда мишка в берлоге храпит под сосной

))

Jutacu

"Можно трахнуть медведя суровой зимой..
Когда мишка в берлоге храпит под сосной

Ну а как же, ребята, моральный устой?

Гыы

bustshery Неужели ты нас обвиняешь? Ой-ой!

Jutacu

Как могу обвинять, ведь я йогин простой!
Не зануда-советник с планеты Амой